Julie Tkachuk

Live Your Dream

Blog

view:  full / summary

F. E. A. R.

Posted on 10 January, 2020 at 17:05

One of my favorite stories goes like this:

A wise man, sitting beneath a tree, sees the spirit of the plague pass by. The wise man asks, "Where goest thou?" to which the spirit of the plague answers, "I go to Benares where I will slay 1,000 people." A month later, on his return trip, the spirit of the plague once again passes the wise man who exclaims, "You said you would slay 1,000 – I hear 10,000 died!" The spirit of the plague responds, "I did slay 1,000. Fear killed the rest."


We have all felt fearful at some point in our lives. Some never overcome it though and, as a result, they don’t ever recognize or express their uniqueness or greatness. Moving beyond the debilitation of fear can happen in an instant. However, more often than not, it is a process.


Here are some phrases for which F.E.A.R. is an acronym followed by ideas to contemplate.


False Evidence Appearing Real:

Typically, our fears are unfounded and never come to pass. However, when we expend a lot of mental and emotional energy worrying about situations, we may well find that great fear, as in the above story, is a mighty magnet. If you are afraid of something and think about it long enough, it likely will manifest.

 

When I was younger, I used to worry about money … specifically, not having enough of it. Needless to say, as a result of my “shortage” consciousness, I created many shortages.


"There is no illusion greater than fear." – Lao Tzu


Forget Everything And Run / Fight Everything And Resist:

These are our flight or fight responses that can and sometimes do automatically kick in. Neither are effective methods (unless physical harm is imminent, of course). I have both run and fought only to find that wherever I go, there I am … and tjat whatever I resisted, persisted.

 

"A man that flees from his fear may find that he has only taken a shortcut to meet it." – J. R. Tolkien

"For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction." – Newton’s third law


Face Everything And Rise:

 Years ago, I confessed a long-held personal secret, only to find that the person I told already knew and didn’t even care about. Immediately after my confession, I had the sense that I’d just walked through a veil of mist. I realized, right then, that the fear that had for decades seemed as impassible as a rock, solid wall, had been completely and only constructed … in my mind.

 

"I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has been there will be nothing. Only I will remain." – Frank Herbert

 

Feel Excited And Ready:

 As I was being introduced before my first ever public talk, I felt extremely nervous and experienced the accompanying “butterflies in my stomach.” I took a few breaths, changed my mind, made the conscious decision to convert my anxious energy into excitement and to deliver the best talk I could. It worked.

 

"We stopped checking for monsters under the bed when we realized they were inside of us." – Charles Darwin/The Joker


Faith Establishes All Reality:

 When you are feeling fearful, ground yourself in the awareness and energy of faith. Trust the Universe, the Divine, Providence. Look for the good that surrounds you. Know that the Omnipresent Wellbeing of the Universe operates in, as, through, around and for you now and always. Just as certainly as fear creates your reality, faith does as well.

 

“I live in the faith that there is a Presence and Power greater than I am that nurtures and supports me in ways I could not even imagine. I know that this Presence is All Knowing and All Powerful and is Always right where I am.” – Ernest Holmes

 

You choose. What will it be … fear or faith?

 

Copyright 2020 © Julie Tkachuk

 

 

 

What DO You Believe?

Posted on 16 December, 2019 at 11:05

In The Dark Side of the Enlightenment, author John V. Fleming writes, “The great impediment to human progress …was not incapacity, but mental timidity or cowardice, the fear of independent thinking and fear's vicious sibling, a comfortable habit of settling for second-hand authority.”


Fear of independent thinking and settling for second-hand authority looks like: following the advice of others; copying how others do life, blindly accepting how things have always been done; unquestioningly believing statistics; assuming that others know what’s good for you better than you do, etc. And sure, in this instant, constant barrage-of-information age, we can’t help but see and hear what others are doing, experiencing and believing. However, in all cases, listen, question everything and ask, “Does [this] feel right for me?”


Consider the source of everything you hear. A participant in one of my E-classes for youths wrote that his father constantly told him he was useless and would never amount to anything. I saw this as a great opportunity for the young man to experience personal empowerment by shifting his focus. I asked him to ponder the following questions, “Do you really believe what your dad is telling you? Is he someone whose behaviour and life you want to emulate? Now stop thinking about your father … what do you consider to be your gifts, talents, skills and strengths? What are you passionate about? What are your dreams and goals?”


Remember at all times that statistics are for groups, and you are not a group. Furthermore, the people who come up with statistics usually have something they want you to believe, something they want to sell you, some group they want you to join, some activity they want you to take part in … because your doing so will benefit them in some way. The bright side is that this all provides valuable information to help you get very clear about what your own beliefs, desires and values are; what to say no to and what to say yes to.


Dare to think independently and create a life that resonates with the highest vision you have of and for yourself. Joseph Campbell writes: “The goal of life is to make your heartbeat match the beat of the universe, to match your nature with Nature.”


What others say, desire and do may well be something that resonates with you. If so, great. But you will know. It will feel right. It will feel peaceful and joyful. Listen to your Higher, Inner Self because it always knows the Truth. As one of my clients said, "When you know, you know."


What was so eloquently written by Fleming in the first paragraph, Frank Zappa stated in his own blunt, inimitable style: “If you end up with a boring, miserable life because you listened to your mom, your dad, your teacher, your priest, or some guy on television telling you how to do your s**t, then you deserve it.” Me, I would change the word boring to "unfulfilled", and although I personally wouldn’t want to emulate Zappa’s life in any way, shape or form … I do appreciate the gist of his words.


You are powerful beyond measure. What you believe, what you accept as the truth about health, prosperity and yourself, what you mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually say yes to … all create and draw to you the people, places and experiences that will determine the direction and events of your life. As much as possible, make choices based on the promptings of your Inner Knowing. If you do that, you will be choosing well.


Copyright © Julie Tkachuk 2016

 

 

How's Your Health?

Posted on 28 November, 2019 at 10:30

As my sister was being moved into palliative care, I offered to ask people to pray for her and bring her some books on spiritual healing. Her response was that she never felt like her life needed healing. I was shocked. Here was a woman dying of cancer, not willing to do other than follow doctors’ orders. After she died, I had time to reflect on her life. I realized that, like each of us, my sister was on her own journey … and our journeys were very, very different.


 

My mother had five children. Four of them have died of cancer. I, the lone healthy survivor, find it validating that out of all my siblings, I am the only one who plumbed the depths of my psyche, self-analyzed myself with a fine-toothed comb, resolved my personal issues, seriously questioned status-quo beliefs about disease, recognized that the mind-body-spirit connection is the key factor in maintaining health, committed to a life of thinking above the law of averages, exercised regularly and recognized that I am accountable for all that I create in my body and life.


 

Maybe you think that being accountable for everything in your life, including disease, means that what happened is your “fault.” But what if you come from a standpoint of power instead? If what is rumbling around in your consciousness (both conscious and subconscious) created disease, does it not stand to reason that your state of mind can be transformed into one that creates health and wellbeing? How great is it to know that you can heal and maintain your health?


 

However, we, as humans, in and of ourselves, cannot create healthy cells. On our own, we cannot even heal a minor cut. But the Divine in all of us sure as heck knows how. And when we do our part by getting our diseased, toxic, chronic, stressful, fearful, worried, anxious, negative, disease-affirming thinking out of the way, recognize our oneness with the ultimate Source of Health and place our faith in the One True Healer, we stand an amazingly good chance of achieving physical wellbeing.


 

I recently visited a friend in the hospital and, as I was walking through the massive building, it occurred to me that, in today’s world, disease is a very big and lucrative business. Around the globe, medical complexes, just like the one I was in, are full of expensively trained and paid staff and pricey state of the art diagnostic and surgical equipment. Pharmaceutical companies make billions of dollars of profits, sadly from people’s pain and misery. And we are conditioned to believe that medical intervention is an absolute necessity.


 

Don’t get me wrong. I appreciate the medical community for all its advances and benefits. When my son broke his wrist, the hospital was the first place we went. Modern medicine has its place. But what if you were to expand your beliefs about health and wellness? What if you followed this wise counsel of Ernest Holmes: “With every pill we have prescribed for us we should also be given a creative prayer, a suggested way to correct our destructive patterns of thought.”


 

Sure, follow your doctor’s orders. But do your own inner work as well. Release your resentments. Forgive your trespassers … and yourself. Resolve your issues. Turn your fear into faith. Shift your focus on symptoms to affirmations of health. And heed this, the best advice my doctor gave to me decades ago after I received a diagnosis: “Don’t listen to anyone. Don’t listen to statistics. Listen to yourself.” I did just that, did not follow medical specialist’s orders to the tee, made some major changes in my life, affirmatively prayed that all true healing power rested in the Divine, and knew that I was Perfect Health. And so it is.


 

Do your own research and find what resonates with and works for you. There are many great online articles and resources. Google “books on spiritual healing," order the one or ones that you are drawn to, be an advocate for our own health … and most of all, BE WELL!


 

Copyright 2019 © Julie Tkachuk

 

Wake Up!

Posted on 19 November, 2019 at 11:45

Are you awake? No, not the wake up in the morning, get out of bed and grab a coffee way but rather this kind of awake: Buddha was asked if he was a God. He said no, I am not a God. He was asked if he was an angel. His reply was no, I am not an angel. What then are you, he was asked? I am awake was his response.


 

“Awake” means being completely in the present moment. It means looking deeply within yourself for the ultimate cause of what’s going on in your life and being accountable for it all. It means consciously, as often as possible, speaking and acting in ways that take the high road. And it means having the willingness, openness and self-awareness to constantly grow, learn and become better at living an enlightened life. So, how do you do that?


 

Being fully conscious of where you are and of what you are doing and thinking at each moment is the first step. Yes, with the multitude of people, places, things and all the latest technological devices that demand your attention, being totally present takes practice. But oh, how enjoyable life becomes when you truly reside, more and more often, in the here and now. You will also find that being fully present physically makes you fully present mentally and emotionally as well. For example, when you drive to work, do you enjoy the drive or are you, in your mind, already at work?


 

Achieving an awakened state requires a disciplined mind … which then creates a disciplined life. Begin to discipline your mind by being aware of the thoughts you think and the beliefs you hold, for these determine not only how you feel, but also your life experience. Whether your constant or main thoughts are negative or positive, so too will be your relationships, your mental health and your body.


 

Everything you create in every aspect of your life is a result of your deeply held conscious and subconscious beliefs. That means your health, finances, well-being, happiness … everything you experience … is based on what you believe to be true, what you believe to be possible and what you believe is impossible.


 

You may say that the economy or your boss or the government is responsible for the condition of your life. And yes, what is happening in the world and “out there” is real and can affect you … if you let it. However, once awake, you will know that no matter what others do or say and no matter what happens “out there,” whether those things happen in your world or affect you really is your choice. Because what you think about, you bring about. So, as you consciously and deliberately focus on health, abundance and joy, the dominoes of disease, lack and unhappiness fall.


 

Awaken. Instead of reacting to outer events, constantly affirm that in your world, each person you meet treats you well, that you are perfect health and that you prosper, thrive and live a luxurious life. Think about what that means for you because marketers and companies that have things to sell are great at portraying that owning their products equals success. And sure, many of the gadgets and goods that are available for sale are lovely. Just remember that the state of your happiness, joy and fulfilment is what determines your successful feeling, not consumer goods. Nice things are nice and are fun to enjoy. But if you absolutely need those things in order to feel like a success, you might want to give that some thought.


 

Spend some of your present moment time thinking about what you really want from life, what really brings you joy and what truly is important to you. Then, focus on just those things as often as possible. When you are awake, creative ideas will surface. Pay attention, follow through on them and make yours a glorious, enjoyable, fulfilling, rich, full awakened life.


 

Copyright 2019 © Julie Tkachuk

 

Stay in Your Own Lane

Posted on 5 November, 2019 at 14:10

I was out for a walk one day this summer and I noticed a father and his two young sons riding their bikes. In single file, dad at the back, the youngest son in the middle and the older son quite far in front, they looked like they were having a good time. Then, the youngest boy turned around to look at his father and enthusiastically yelled, “Dad! Look how fast Trevor is going!” Almost immediately after those words came out of his mouth, he lost his balance and fell. Not seriously hurt but crying loudly, dad got off his bike and comforted the boy.


Until he shifted his focus, the youngest boy was balanced and moving forward nicely. But the minute he paid more attention to his brother’s ability than his own; things went sideways.


As I continued my walk, I thought: how many of us do the same thing? How often do we shift our attention from what we ourselves are doing and place it on the actions or words of others? And don’t things tend to go sideways when we do that?


I met with a couple this summer about officiating at their wedding. The bride began talking, gossiping really, about her maid of honour. Bright woman that she is though, she almost immediately stopped herself in mid-sentence and said, “Sara, stay in your own lane.” What a fantastic phrase.


So, what does staying in my own lane mean? It means that I focus my attention on what I am doing, saying and thinking. It means that I consciously decide how I want to respond to situations. It means that I operate and communicate, to the best of my ability, with integrity and honesty. Most of all, it means that I pay attention to what I am attracting and creating in my life.


Ernest Holmes writes, “We are all chemists in the laboratory of the Infinite. What then shall we create?” Well, what have you created? Positive, happy, healthy experiences? Prosperity, harmony and overall wellbeing? Or have you fallen off your bike?


An example. Maybe someone has criticized you and you feel hurt. But focusing on the words of another for any length of time or blaming them for what you are feeling is not staying in your own lane.


Eleanor Roosevelt said, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” Know that you can replace the word inferior with hurt, used, angry, fearful, disappointed, etc. It’s a one size fits all statement. So why not look in the mirror and ask, what in me attracted that behavior or this situation? Ask this question not to blame yourself but rather to empower yourself.


I believe that our real deep work is done in the silence of our own hearts and minds. It is done between me and Me – my human self and my Higher Self. Yes, others can be there for me, tell me I have been wronged, provide an ear to listen with and a shoulder to cry on. But ultimately, it’s me that must eventually look myself in the mirror and be accountable for what I’ve created. If I feel hurt because of something someone said, it that means that the words of the other person are simply mirroring a limited belief I have about myself.


Remain focused on what you want to create. Always remember that you are a child of the Divine, not only intended to succeed but already a success in every way. Affirm that others treat you well, making sure that you first treat yourself well.


Ride straight, move forward, focus always … and stay in your own lane.


Copyright 2019 © Julie Tkachuk

Lessons Learned from Difficult Relationships

Posted on 24 May, 2019 at 13:25

Relationships have been both the bane and joy of my existence. I have suffered tremendously in them, yet I have also experienced great joy as a result of my connection with others.


My greatest teachers were the people closest to me – my parents, partners, children, close friends and bosses. And each of them has taught me something wonderful. For example, my two children have provided me with opportunity after opportunity (and in ways that tested me for all I was worth) to become more patient and giving. Partners have taught me that there were times I needed to get closer and times I needed to say goodbye.


One thing I have noticed in relationships is that we all perceive life through our own filters. When I speak publicly, people in the audience often approach me after my talk. Often, at the same presentation, more than one person comments that my talk was meant specifically for him or her. One person would say they loved my message of “living in the present moment” while another said I spoke about “lightening up about things.” I probably addressed both points, but each participant heard and remembered what resonated with them.


We do the same thing in our relationships. If we tend to feel hurt when criticized, we will be overly sensitive to the innocent comments of others. Not only that but we will likely attract or be attracted to people who criticize us. We bring out in others what we expect to see.


At one of my very first jobs I worked as a secretary for a small consulting firm. I had only been there for a few weeks and all was going well. Then one morning, as I was sifting through the new work from my in-basket, I found a 20-page handwritten document with a sticky note attached to it that read, “Please type.” Upon closer examination I realized that the document was a university paper written by the son of my boss. I was stupefied and amazed that my boss would expect me to type such a thing. On the other hand, I was both nervous and scared about saying anything to him. Never before had I stood up to someone in authority. So I sat with how I felt for most of the morning. I took a long walk at lunch and mulled things over, trying to figure out what to say and how to say it. I had no idea that my decision would have such far-reaching consequences.


It has been said that we teach people how to treat us and time and time again I have experienced the truth of this statement. On more than one occasion I have said nothing when I should have said “no” and my consequences ranged from mildly uncomfortable to extremely painful. I now fully understand that silence, for the most part, is considered to be consent.


Because each of us looks at life through the filters of our own lenses, that capricious thing called perception is often a slippery slope. Think about how two children growing up in one family have such different memories of the same upbringing or how two people going through a divorce have completely opposite recollections of the events that occurred. We each see through the color of our own lenses. Some people’s glasses are rose-colored; others are very dark. That being the case, when do we speak up? And how do we all get along? We speak our truth all the time. And we allow each person to experience their own reality. We cannot create someone else’s life experience for them anyway – that is their job. So, our task is to say what we mean, concern ourselves with ourselves and do the only work we can...our own.


With knees shaking, I walked into the office of my boss, looked him in the eye, and said, “I don't think that my job duties include typing this report for your son.” His immediate response was, “My father's secretary used to type my school reports.” From some strong, confident place within me I heard the following words flow from my mouth: “I am not your father's secretary.”


Never again was I asked to type a school report. Instead, over the course of the decade that I worked for this company, I was promoted many times, given increasing responsibility and I received great financial bonuses as well. Not only that, but in all the jobs I have had since then I have never been asked to do anything that I felt was incongruent with the position I held.


When I decided to leave the position, a woman I’ll call Brenda replaced me. After I had been gone for about a year, I was in the neighbourhood of my old office and stopped in to say hello to everyone. Brenda called me aside and asked me how I could have worked for such an abusive man for so long. She told me that my old boss yelled at her often, watched the clock like a hawk to see if she returned from lunch on time and basically treated her very badly. Here we were, talking about the same man, yet we had totally different experiences. How could this be?


As far as relationship challenges are concerned, I have found that my answers were always found within. There are, after all, no demons on the outside. And even when it looks as though one appears “out there,” some serious reflection always revealed that I created the enemy in my mind long before he or she showed up in my life. For example, my own feelings of unworthiness have served as the magnet for any and all my previous less-than-desirable relationships. My own inner critic, and inability to speak up for myself, always showed up as someone willing to tell me my beliefs or actions were wrong and how I “should” think or act instead.


Personal development is the key to healthy relationships. After all, your relationship with yourself forms the basis of all your relationships with others. The more I worked through my own issues and got to know myself better, the better my relationships became. As I became more honest with myself, I became more honest with others. My willingness to show my vulnerability has strengthened my relationships and made them more real and deep.


Give thanks for the difficult people in your life. Look within to find the cause of the relationship “problem” and then address the issue with the person who is providing you with the opportunity to learn more about yourself. And always, keep in mind that some people look better walking towards you while others look better walking away.


How you view yourself, others and life will create your reality. Work at eliminating any old limiting beliefs you have and begin to see all of your experiences through crystal clear eyes. Perceive each of them as an opportunity to learn, grow and become the best you can be.


“We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face...we must do that which we think we cannot.” – Eleanor Roosevelt


Copyright © Julie Tkachuk

Published in The St. Albert Gazette on September 25, 2004

Create a Life That Has Meaning

Posted on 12 March, 2019 at 13:15

Leadership expert Warren Bennis says, “We must think carefully about our paths before we set out on them, for by the time a person discovers that his path ‘has no heart,’ the path is ready to kill him. At that point few of us have the courage to abandon the path, lethal as it may be, because we have invested so much in it, have become so successful at it, and to choose a new path seems dangerous, even irresponsible, and so we continue dutifully, if joylessly along.”


All we have to do is watch the news these days to see that the path we are on is, quite literally, killing us. An escalating sense of powerlessness and insecurity can be seen around the world as everyday events such as flying in a plane, going to work and opening our mail take on new meaning. It has become glaringly obvious that we must change paths, and we must change paths now. To effectively deal with the problems that have been created, each of us must do three things. First, we must find a path that does have a heart. Then, we must walk that path. Finally, we must walk it as leaders.


So how do you find a path that has a heart? By doing what you are passionate about or becoming passionate about what you do. By recognizing that your work is more than a job. By understanding that you don’t do anyone a favor, least of all yourself, by just showing up at work or at home and believing that is enough. By seeing your interactions with the people in your life as an opportunity to grow, learn and work with greater integrity.


When you find this path, you walk it by teaching, writing, supervising, investing, administrating, speaking, acting, etc. with a greater sense of purpose. Walking your “path with a heart” may mean creating a more harmonious environment in your classroom or workplace, writing a letter to your member of parliament, standing up for someone who is being ridiculed by others because they are different, investing in stock from businesses that operate ethically, starting a recycling program at work, joining an organization you believe in or facilitating workshops on higher living skills. Find what you are passionate about and become part of the solution.


Finally, learning how to be an effective leader is done by learning how to be an effective person. Be committed to change. Be unwilling to settle for anything less than the best in yourself. Live up to your own vision of excellence and use your unique talents to the fullest. Learn how to communicate effectively with others and show them that you care.


Warren Bennis also writes, “Our parents, our schools and our organizations all inadvertently conspire against us when they focus on the development of a career, with the rest of life merely an unanticipated consequence of the career, or even when they stress the how-to’s of a career rather than the why’s.”


Our education system, corporations and mass media are powerful tools for change. We could use them wisely and with integrity. Children could be taught higher living skills as well as textbook facts, corporations could place a higher emphasis on people instead of profits, and the media could be used to educate and uplift rather than instill hatred and fear.


Become a leader. Think about the changes you wish to see and then take appropriate action. Live peacefully with your family. Work harmoniously with your co-workers. Teach your children to live with integrity by doing so yourself. Take your best self to work and bring that same person home at night. Speak out in the world. Become an advocate for conscious local, federal and global partnership based on honesty, integrity and mutual gain.


Copyright © Julie Tkachuk

Published in The St. Albert Gazette on October 27, 2001

Finding Your One True Love

Posted on 1 February, 2019 at 16:45

“Kissing is a means of getting two people so close together that they can’t see anything wrong with each other.” – Ren Yasenek


February is heart month. When I think of the heart, I think of love. Yes, I know it is a muscle. Yes, I know it needs to keep beating and pumping blood for me to stay alive. But maybe it’s our love muscle. Maybe our ability to give and receive love determines the condition of our heart muscle. And if so, judging from the high rate of heart disease, it seems to me that we aren’t taking very good care of this most necessary of body parts. However, I don’t want to write about the body. The message I do want to convey is the importance of love – of others and of the self.


As a marriage commissioner I see love at its best. Young couples swooning over each other. Middle-aged couples excited about their wedding preparations. Older couples happy to have found a companion. Yet I once saw a billboard that read, “Great wedding. Now invite me to the marriage.”


Don’t get me wrong. I’m in love with love. It is truly a splendiferous thing. I cry at romantic movies. I believe in marriage. But somewhere along the line, between the first date and the double-digit anniversary, we often go astray. Or maybe we don’t even get to the starting gate. Why? Too often, I think, it's because we search for love in all the wrong places. What are the wrong places? Anywhere outside of yourself is the wrong place.


We look for evidence that someone loves us without giving any consideration to the fact that, first and foremost, we need to love ourselves. I’m not saying we should be islands or that we should be totally independent. I don’t think being either of those is a recipe for a healthy, balanced life. What I am saying is that we are the only person capable of fulfilling all of our needs all of the time. We are the only person that always (hopefully!) has our best interests at heart. We are the only person who knows exactly where to scratch our every itch.


Now I don’t know about you, but I certainly wasn’t taught the value of loving myself in my first family. I wasn’t taught this in school. When I was growing up there were no self-help books to assist me. No, I learned the hard way. I learned to look after myself by first looking after everyone else but myself. Somewhere in that huge contrast of overly caring for others and totally ignoring myself, I found my way. Actually, I’m still finding it. I’m a work in progress, just like everyone else. But I have learned some things.


I’ve learned that it is better to say no sometimes and risk ticking others off than it is to do something with absolute resentment. I’ve learned that I feel better when I focus most of my attention on what brings me the most joy rather than focusing on what others do that I don’t like. I’ve learned that it is far better to honestly say what I want and need rather than attempt to control, manipulate or guilt others into meeting my needs. I’ve learned that somehow, when I speak my truth and then relax and allow, my good comes to me in ways I often find truly amazing. As I’ve learned these things, I have been able to open my heart to giving and receiving in far healthier ways.


So, I’d like to wish you a happy heart month, a happy Valentine’s Day and a happy Random Acts of Kindness Week. Just remember to take care of your heart. Romance yourself and be kind to yourself – every day. And always keep in mind these comical but wise words of Fred Allan: “The last time I saw him he was walking down Lover’s Lane, holding his own hand.”


Copyright © Julie Tkachuk 

published in The St. Albert Gazette on February 15, 2006

Relax and Allow What You Want to Come to You

Posted on 17 January, 2019 at 10:20

Quite some time ago I purchased a small gift for a friend. It was something I also wanted and had thought of keeping for myself. But this friend and I were meeting for coffee and I decided I wanted her to have it. I was excited about giving it to her because I knew it was something she wanted. She was very happy to receive the gift and we both laughed loud and hard as she immediately handed me a box that contained the very same gift. Our small but meaningful gifts to each other were the “easy” buttons produced by Staples. Press the large red button and a man’s voice says, “That was easy.”


The two of us often discuss the difference in our results when we do one of two things: 1) attempt to control something into being, or 2) allow events to occur in their own manner and time. Having spent many of our earlier years trying to push people and circumstances into place, we have become committed to letting events unfold easily. I must admit that I am not 100 per cent successful at this yet, but I have certainly come a long, long way. I used to get upset when plans got cancelled, contracts were postponed, or people didn’t do what they said they’d do. Now I understand these things occur because something is not right, ready, or a fit for me. Here’s a recent example.


A cousin of mine and I had agreed to meet in Calgary. A few days of R&R felt like just what we both needed, and I was quite looking forward to the trip. But when my cousin and I spoke again, I found out that the relatives whose home we were going to stay at were experiencing some marital difficulties. My immediate response was that the last thing they needed was company. Shortly afterwards I realized a greater truth: the last thing “I” needed was to be someplace where the energy was full of tension and stress. Instead of calling and cancelling my plans, however, I decided to relax and allow. Lo and behold, the night before I was to leave for Calgary, a storm blew in and created poor highway driving conditions. The solution presented itself. I called my cousin and we postponed our trip.


Time and time again, synchronicities like this have occurred when I have taken my hands off the wheel of my life. There truly is a natural order of events and when I surrender to the Power greater than myself, things I experience and receive are far better than anything I could have controlled, manipulated or forced into being. I have a quote on a sticky note that I carry forward each week in my appointment book. It comes from the Abraham-Hicks material and it reads, “When you give up trying to control conditions and you instead just go with the flow of what feels best to you, then the conditions take care of themselves.” And they do, with absolute ease.


Now I’m not saying that we don’t take action and move forward. What I am saying is that we do so when it feels right and that when things aren’t working with ease and harmony, we step back and re-evaluate our actions and plans. I know for myself that each time I have so desperately wanted something to work and have pushed and contrived to make it so, both the experience and I have gone “splat.” Which reminds me of a quote from Isaac Newton: “To every action there is always an equal and opposite reaction.” To me, that means whatever I am pushing for will push back just as hard. Like when I pushed for my children to behave a certain way, they pushed against my expectations with an equal or greater will. And when I relaxed, they did too. Be easy on others. Be easy on yourself. Relax and allow the people, places and things that you want to come to you.


After our gift exchange, my “easy” button friend and I commented on how, when we unconditionally gave away that which we ourselves wanted, we both received what we wanted. So freely give away what you want. Give friendship. Give love. Give time. Give money. Before long, you will hear yourself saying, “That was easy!”


Copyright © Julie Tkachuk

published in The St. Albert Gazette February 17, 2007

Miracles Happen All the Time

Posted on 20 November, 2018 at 17:10

The things we receive often come to us in ways that boggle the mind. Miracles we call them, occurrences that have no logical explanation, events that contradict all known laws. Yet Webster’s Ninth New Collegiate Dictionary, published in 1984, defined miracles as, “A divinely natural phenomenon experienced humanly as the fulfillment of spiritual law.” To think that miracles only take place occasionally is a mistake. Miracles are a natural phenomenon and they happen all the time.


Individuals often share with me stories of synchronistic events that occurred in their lives. One of the most wonderful I have heard was from a man who was doing some plumbing repairs in his home. When he discovered that he needed a new part, a specific O-ring to be exact, he made a few phone calls. He lives in a remote community and quickly discovered that the O-ring was not available anywhere locally and would have to be ordered. There was nothing he could immediately do about the repairs, so he decided to go fishing. While out on the lake in his boat he caught a rather large fish that he brought home. While he was cleaning and gutting the fish, he felt something hard inside its intestinal tract. When he cut it open, what he found was the exact O-ring he needed.


Chance? Coincidence? I don’t think so. The odds of that specific O-ring being found in that particular fish’s stomach was, quite simply, a miracle. I have told this story to others and some of them say it’s fabricated. However, I have seen, and experienced first-hand, far too many miraculous events to agree. I absolutely know that miracles are everyday occurrences.


Trish, the sister of a close friend, was diagnosed with cancer and the prognosis was not good. After a large tumor was removed, she underwent a round of radiation treatments followed by a half-day operation to reconstruct her face. Her doctor did not offer much hope and didn't feel the cancer hadn’t been completely removed. Yet my friend and her family continued to ask for prayers of healing from around the world. Then, just before she was scheduled to go for the next series of radiation treatments, Trish went for tests. When the doctor phoned her he said, “I’ve never made a call like this in my life. You are cancer-free. Carry on with your life.”


There are “large” miracles and there are miracles that we take for granted. Events such as the birth of a child, a breathtaking sunrise or the blossoming of a flower are no less miracles than those seemingly larger demonstrations. Furthermore, when we consider the things we don’t even think about such as the astonishing number of functions performed with precision every day by our very own bodies, we can see that we truly are surrounded by and immersed in miracles all the time.


What about the times when everything looks like it’s going wrong? Where are the miracles then? Over the course of my life so far, my knees have hit the floor many times. Yet today, when I look back, I can see that everything that has happened occurred for my highest good and my personal growth. My mother’s unavailability due to her experience with multiple sclerosis made me strong and independent. Had I not overcome my fear of public speaking decades ago I would not have developed the self-confidence to do the work I do. Overall, I have learned to trust that there is a higher order of events that transpires and that even when it looks like all is lost, it isn’t.


Begin to look at things from a higher perspective and a grander vision. Start to see each day, each opportunity, each experience and each event as the miracle that it is.


“There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as if everything is.” – Albert Einstein


Copyright © Julie Tkachuk

published in The St. Albert Gazette January 17, 2004


Rss_feed